Weeks 29-33 - Ohh Time is FLYING by!

Ok! So, I'm trying to back track and figure out the weeks I missed. The last time I blogged Easter had ended and I had just finished my 28th week. I was gearing up for MY FIRST baby Shower on April 18 and for my 32 week sonogram!

Week 29
On April 10 - Marcos had his first DREAM about Natalie. =) He woke up so excited to tell me all about his first dream and how it seemed so real. This was fun, considering Marcos dreams alot because I can hear him talk in his dreams at night, sometimes in Portuguese and sometimes in English but when I ask him about it he never remembers what he dreamt about!

Week 30
I had visited my DR. for my 30 week appointment the Wednesday, April 14 before the shower and told her about the emotional rollercoaster I was on over the whole drama that came about. My DR. really put things in perspective for me (she didn't seem to think it was my hormones) but told me to focus on what I knew was true and that this would be my FIRST shower for my FIRST baby and everyone who was going to the shower was going for ME and how awesome was that! She was really amazing. Kinda took me back at first because she was so forward with questions like, "Who said it" "What did they say to you" "Why did you allow this person to have such power over you" "Was this person even noteworthy of their words" ect. It was kinda humorous. But, she did help alot! So, thanks Dr.!

Week 31

My FIRST shower. It was just fabulous! All the wonderful people who I care so deeply about showed up and it was such an overwhelming feeling know that all these people cared for Natalie and she hadn't even made it here yet. Sure, that was major drama leading up to the whole shower but it ended up being great. I got some really fun and unique gifts. I just love really thought out gifts, so sweet! And of course the practical and well needed things were - well- just what I needed and that's great!

Week 32
SONOGRAM! April 29, Again, FAVOR from the Lord. I prayed all morning... Lord, please send me an Angel in disguise! Show me favor this Dr. appointment and let me see this baby girl in 3D again! =) Praise God, I've got a friend in HIGH places.

We were the first appointment in the books. The nurse called my name and I knew, this is her again - My angel in disguise! I lay on the table and she starts measuring Natalie. We are talking and the whole time I'm praying, Ohh please do a 3d! And then she says, lets take a peak at this sweet little girl! My heart was elated. She switches the screen to 3D and I can't thank her enough. Marcos starts in on Natalie's nose and how it looks so big. LoL. Well, this gets the Nurse laughing so hard that she is determined to show Marcos that the baby's nose is not so big and it just the screen. So, we spend forever looking at her at different angles in 3D, during all the laughing and Marcos' smart comments Natalie starts laughing.

 She snapped a picture of it! Of course, I am her momma, but I swear this was the most beautiful sonogram photo I've ever seen! LoL - HAHA!

Week 33

We left for the beach on May 5- Mother's day weekend!

We spent our time at the Eden condominiums, the same place Marcos and I went to last year the same weekend but with friends. This time we went with Family. My parents, sister & Audrey and brother & Kendle and Caleb. We had lots of fun! This was the first time I got into a bathing suit, and yeah, I totally flaunted it! =) Ha.

 I didn't eat the fish just because I didn't want to take any chances do to the oil spill. Walking on the sand was challenging considering I'm carrying so much weight as it is and then my feets sinking far into the sand making it hard to pull back up. Ha. The weather was so great the first time day that I chilled out under an umbrella but somehow missed some spots with sunscreen (my left leg especially) and burned myself so bad! It ruined the second day for us. Marcos was really sweet about it. I knew he wanted to stay and play at the beach and pool but he put on a big act and said that he wanted to spend the trip with me and if I couldnt' get back in the sun that he'd take me shopping if I felt up to it. Well, as much as it hurt like heck to walk on my legs, I couldn't pass up the outlet mall. I also thought walking my be good for my swallon huge leg. So we shopped and shopped! =) By the next day I was better - and spent the day at the beach but just kept my leg covered up really good and Marcos saturated me with sunscreen not missing one spot this time. We got some really cute maternity beach pics taken around the hotel. The trip was just what we needed!

Peacemaker

“Peacemakers who sow in peace RAISE a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:18)

Praise God that horrible Thursday passed! I made peace and I forgave and asked for forgiveness of myself. I actually learned a lot through the whole emotional rollercoaster of Thursday. I would have loved to have opted out of that whole lesson however, God is molding me each day and without this experience I wouldn't be who I am right now, at this moment.

Praise God I have some awesome spiritual women in my life. One who was able to help me to see past things in a different light and allow me to see how the enemy was at work. We were able to pray about it over the phone and it really brought me great comfort and peace in that moment.

My other friend, Mayaba called and left me a voice mail on Monday. Well, I've still been emotional over everything and waited and called her back today because I felt better. She is an AMAZING woman of God. She has a book you MUST read called, "“Delivered From the Bondage of Witchcraft.” and comes to a prayer group I am in on Tuesday nights. I haven't been in months due to the fact that I am teaching evening classes. She has NEVER called me before and she called. I felt like I needed to return her call. When I called she explained the holy spirit had really layed me on her heart to pray. She had even planned a trip to Columbus but canceled her trip to stay home for a week to pray and fast (not just for me, other things too). She asked how the baby and I were doing and that she had been praying for us. I told her that her phone call couldn't have been more timely because of the stress and heartache I have felt over the past week. She started praying for me and said the Lord wanted me to know, "I AM." She repeated the several times. We prayed some more and I listened to what she had to say. I told her I knew exactly what the Lord was saying because I've been searching for my Prince of PEACE, my Comforter and I as much as I know HE is that, he seemed so far from me at the moment. But I know HE is listening and saying to me just that, "I AM your Prince of Peace, I AM your Comforter, I AM your Strength when you are weak, I AM the solid Rock..." It was just amazing. I thank God for such an obedient woman in the Lord and for God speaking to her about me.

Later on tonight after teaching I was on my way home and the song, "I Will Not Be Moved" by Natalie Grant came on. Wow, again the holy spirit was strong and these words were stronger and louder, I heard them clear as day, "I will make mistakes, I will have heartaches, BUT I will NOT be Moved, for Christ the solid Rock is which I stand AND all other ground is sinking Sand!" Again, I was reminded of who I am in Christ! No matter what problems arrive in my life, I will always turn to the God of Grace and Mercy, the one who will bring me the Peace, Comfort, Strength, Love ect when I need it the most and I will not be Moved.

UNGRATEFUL

What is the meaning of this word: "ungrateful". I hadn't ever thought about this word, it's not really in my vocabulary, I've never needed this word and I've never called anyone this word so I needed to know what this meant when I was called this about 100xs yesterday over the phone where I wasn't given an explantation on why this person thought this of me.

Ungrateful: adj.

1.Not feeling or exhibiting gratitude, thanks, or appreciation.

 

Gosh, this is pretty harsh. It's hits you hard especially when the definition doesn't fall in line with who you are. I'm more than thankful, appreciative and grateful of everything in my life big and small. I've never taken anythng for granted and try to go above and beyond to show appreciation to people.

 

After balling my eyes, and being just really torn up yesterday, all day to the point where I couldn't breathe, I called my daddy and he was filled with words of wisdom. He listened to the whole situation and even challenged my thinking. I can't imagine ever having to go through this again without having my dad around for his advice. Without his advice yesterday, I'm sure I wouldn't have survived. Still thinking about this gets me all teary eyed and emotional  (yes, I know I am pregnant).

 

Was it not that I wasn't grateful but this person needed me to show more appreciation. In the end after talking to my dad, I apologized to this person; "I'm sorry for making you feel like I am not grateful for what you are doing - I never meant to do or say anything to make you feel this way." Really that is all I could say. Because to be honest, I still have no clue what they were talking about or what they needed from me and like my dad said, I didn't need to try and get an answer on why they thought I was ungrateful - just like when Christ was called names He didn't demand to know why they were calling Him that. I guess in my thinking was that if I could get why they thought I was ungrateful I could know what I needed to change or to do or to say. I probably should have returned back to my Child like faith and attitude.

 

It brings me back to Elementary school when the teacher left the room and had a boy take names. Well this boy wrote my name on the board. I hadn't done anything wrong. When the teacher came in and saw my name on the board she was rather shocked. She said, "Jana! Why is your name on the board?" I responded, "I do not know." She asked the boy, "Did Jana talk or get up" the boy responded, "Yes". I was really calm and not bothered by his response. The teacher goes on, "Jana, he said you did do one of the two" My response, "Well, I didn't and I don't care what he says because God and I know I didn't do anything." Immediately the teacher erased my name from the board and apologized.

 

Instead of getting so upset and bothered by everything mean this person was saying and not know why they were saying all these things to me, I should have calmly and immediately apologized and reminded myself that I know what  my heart feels, I know I've never shown any ungratefulness towards anyone and ended the conversation.

 

For this word to have such a big impact on me, God has really revealed the power of words. I've always known that words have power, and I try daily to choose my words wisely and I'm actually really good at it. I feel really numb still today and I have tried super hard not think about yesterday. My husband was so upset with what happened yesterday that of course it tore him up that I had "allowed" someone get me so upset that he ended up taking off the rest of the day. There was really nothing he could do for me though. He didn't want me answering the phone talking or calling anyone. He took me to a comedy movie to get me to laugh and afterwards we ate dinner and were both out asleep by 8pm.

 

I have not spoken to this person even though I have forgiven this person. It's just something in my spirit is not at ease at the moment with this person. I feel like there is more to what this person is feeling and there is nothing I can do to help this person until they ask help for themselves. 

 

Ending this blog with a few things I feel gratitude, thanks and appreciation for...

Jesus (without him I'd still be a basketcase)

Marcos (without him I wouldn't have anyone to turn my frown upside down)

Dad (without him I wouldn't recieve the words of wisdom when I need it the most)

Family (they've shown me who i want to be and not want to be)

My: Education

  House

Food

Water

Clothes

Being able to stay home during the day

Evening job (spanish and english)

This baby - Natalie

Kind words

Kind acts

Travels

 

All downhill now... right?!

27 Weeks

So we left off at 26 weeks and  I had failed my glucouse test. Well, don't worry week 27 turned out to be the charm and I passed. I should have known considering the fact that the number 27 is my favorite number. =) Marcos and I met April 27 (double decker in Oxford) and we married on May 27th and hopefully Natalie will be born on June 27th instead of the 21st. Hey, it could happen... right?! =)

Also speaking about the 27th we could say Marcos purchased our first family car that day in March, techincally it wasn't but I'll just round up 7 days, it sounds better that way. We had been looking for cars forever! I had to buy the "perfect AND affordable" car for our family. With that being said, Toyotas 0% financing for 60mos. was definitely a helper in making a decision. We went with the brand new 2010 Toyota Highlander and I must say I love. It accomdates all my needs. It fits up to 7 people but that is with NO trunk space. With trunk space we eliminate the 3rd row and we have a 5 seater and a huge trunk.

We went to the parade that weekend and it was lots of fun. I made a shirt that said, "What's Kick'n" and it seemed to have been a hit because I recieved a ton of compliments on it. I didn't realize how big I looked in it though. Looking at myself in the mirror I don't look big (well atleast to me) my stomach sticks straight out and no where else. But it's one big stomach in the photos. Ha.

That following Tuesday we went and had our maternity pics done. I'm not sure how they will turn out. I worked so hard on my hair that morning we drove over an HOUR to this girls house and well, I was kinda disappointed. She is super sweet and nice but she didn't seem to understand the kind of photos I was looking for. I felt VERY rushed and I think that shows poorly on a photographer. I don't think you should feel rushed when you are paying someone to take your pictures. I felt like the entire time she had somewhere to be. She didn't seem to be as creative as it portrayed on her website photos either. And she didn't give ANY directions. How do I put my hand, does my arm look fat? what about my hair? I felt like I was just standing there helpless like OMG what do I look like and she never once said anything and just would start snapping. When Marcos and I went to change clothes Marcos informed me that my face looked very irriated. I felt bad, I was irriated, I told her like a billion times what i wanted and she didn't really do it. I didn't want her to know that I was irriated b/c I wanted her to try her best with me and help me out. So I tried extra hard to put on a smiley face and to hide my irriation. At the end of the shoot she was done, why I don't know, I had't gotten what I came for so I just said, listen, ATLEAST get a photo of us in our Rebel attire. She says, "oh yes of course, I totally forgot". Of course, because you obvisiously have somewhere to be and your trying to get me in and out as fast a possible. I guess no photographer yet can compare to my wedding photographer, Mitsy Miotto. She was so fabulous. Full of energy, never made us feel like she was in a hurry, and directed us in everything and would even show us on her camera what they were looking like, to inspire us and let us see what we were doing right or wrong. Then again, like one friend said, you get what you pay for and her prices and her cd of photo option was a selling point for me, super reasonable. I have rationalized the whole situation with the fact that she DOES (praying hard) take better BABY photos and I do want to some super cute baby photos and how can any photographer screw up baby pics? We shall see. =)

Speaking of photography, we are purchasing a heavy duty camera for me to so I can practice my photography skills. I'm hoping to take photos for a living too. Maternity, engagement, newborn... basic things. Nothing like a wedding or sort because someone's wedding day is so incredibly special that I would want a true photographer who studied and knows what they are doing to be responsible for that. You can never redo someones wedding. I'm really excited because I've been really inspired by other friend photographers and I myself can take a really good photo, I just need a better lens. I'm creative and I am patient. I am looking forward to taking tons of photos of Natalie. =)

Week 28

Sweet Caroline! Sweet Caroline who already has a one year old and I preggers again made Natalie the sweetest blanket, mittens and hat. When the box arrived and opened I was filled with tears. So special to me and so special is the fact that she took the time to crochet/knit something for my sweet little girl. We will cherish the set forever and ever! And Caroline, I'll be your maternity and newborn photographer, you just tell me when and where I  will be there. =)

I semi finished the crib skirt, only one part left. It looks fabulous. I mod podged her letters in her room and now I just need to find the perfect ribbon. We are waiting for the glider it should arrive in 3 weeks. I can't wait. I am now in search for curtains and draperies for her room. We shall see what I come up with.

I had my 28 week Dr. appointment now that I have ENTERED my 3rd TRIMESTER! I go to the doctor ever 2 weeks until the last month and then I will go weekly. =) I can't believe I am already here. It is so exciting. And what is more exciting is that I get ONE last sonogram of Natalie - week 32 before she gets here. I am counting down the weeks for that one.

We celebrated Easter and the resurrection of Christ and that was such an awesome Sunday. I just can't imagine my child having to go through the things that Christ did, the price he paid for us was so HUGE and yet we still live a life taken for granted. I want Natalie to understand the price Christ paid for us, for her and for others. I pray daily that the Love of Christ will shine ever so brightly through Natalie and the she is filled with a Holy Ghost smile that could light up a room. I want to be be so hard that Godly example that I try to display on daily basis. Hopefully she will be better at it then me.

Oh the JoY's!

Oh the Joys!

Oh the joys of my sweet husband. I wanted to quote something he said that was so sweet. We were in the car heading to the Coast and some how our conversation got on the topic of wolves. Then I asked him if he had ever heard of the saying, "Crying Wolf". He said no. Well, I said let me tell you about the boy who cried wolf. I finished the story and said, "So the moral of the story is not to cry wolf unless there is one, because if you cry wolf to many times when there isn't really a wolf and then when one finally does comes no one will be there." Then, out of the sincerity of his brazilian heart he looks to me and says, "No matter how many times you cry wolf, I'll always be there." Ahh, my heart melted. I guess it was the way he said, it was so serious so full of passion. And that is why I married my man. He always surprises me with the things he says.

Week 25

Oh the JoY's of a dog in heat! My gosh - a dog in heat is one horn dog. I mean seriously, last week during my 25th week of pregnancy w/ Natalie things were going smoothly but with Sophi, well she has broken mine and M's heart, our little girl is no longer a little girl. We pray she isn't pregnant b/c if she is we might be having babies at the same time. Ohh yes, this could be possible. Sophi escaped every morning last week. She knocks down the fence we keep fixing and she digs holes to get out. Her lover is named, Mahgwah?! He is a very big German Shepard who cried for her constantly last week. It was so overwhelming for his owners they didn't know what to do, Sophi was Mahgwah's first and well, being separated from her just killed him. He's a lot better this week thank the lord.

Oh the JoY's of looking for a car that is family friendly. My camaro is not family friendly. Trying to put a car seat in my car is just not working. And on top of that I really thought my car was on the verge of dying b/c the gages have been all messed up. So all last week I sat inside of my house and did nothing b/c I couldn't use my car. Marcos drove me to Spanish classes at night and picked me up. It was kinda fun. Ha. On Friday I got so frustrated that I decided I'd run into an Auto Shop store and see what they could do. The nice people told me to buy coolant and that they'd put the coolant in for me and wah lah! It worked. My car is running much better and I have no more worries of being stranded on the side of the road. So, we are still looking for me a car but just not as crazy car shopping as we were when we thought it would break down any day. On another note the man putting the coolant in my car showed me a RAT that was under the hood of my car. I will post a pic of that!

Week 26

Ohh the JoY that Natalie brings! Natalie has been moving constantly. It's a very cool feeling. Sometimes her movements are super strong and sometimes they are just constant and smooth. I've been extremely curious of what she is going to look like; what traits of mine and of marcos that she will have. I dream about her all the time. This week I had to gear for my big appointment A.) we would get to see Natalie again to see if my placenta had moved out of the way and B.) gestational diabetes test. I couldn't eat or drink after midnight and when I woke up I had to drink a lemon lime drink exactly one hour before my appointment to get my finger pricked. I did just that at 715AM. I could barely sleep b/c I've felt like I've lost my mind just recently. I can't remember anythng. I was so afraid I was going to miss the appoinment or eat or drink water in the middle of the night. I had excitment that I was goign to get to see Natalie. It was just all a really overwhelming 24hrs.

Marcos met me at Dr. at 815AM the triage nurse (she loves me--Marcos and I crack her up) pricked my finger in which it caught me off guard and my legs flung into the air startling Marcos and her. It was funny. But the prick thing she used made a loud blow sound, it scared the bee out of me. She squeezed my finger (now I have a little bruise and it hurts like heck on it) and got my results instantly. Well, I FAILED! I was so irritated. My Dr. said that it was ok though b/c my number was 160 and that number could have gone either way. And since it was so close that she wanted to retest me and so on Monday I will do a 3 hour test. They will prick my finger at 8AM 9AM and 10AM. I am really nervous about the pain b/c my finger still hurts and I can't imagine every finger being bruised and hurt. I told Marcos if that happens he will have to wash my hair for me b/c it was very difficult with just one finger being hurt but more then one. Oh my!

On a brighter note we got to see Natalie. And not only did we get to see Natalie but we have friends in HIGH places. And we got to see Natalie in 4D! It was such an incredible moment. I got see her sweet little face. Her lips which the sonogram lady says, "Wow, she has such full lips". I look a M instantly b/c he has the full lips, not me. She looked just perfect, of course. So perfect, my heart melted. This has been the first time in 26 weeks that my heart actually melts over Natalie. Of course, I've been elated and happy that she is coming and that she is a girl and getting to see her in sonograms but seeing her in 4D was a whole other thing. It really gave me a sense of who she is and looks like. I am really ready for her arrival now.

I've been working on things in her room. Next week I will make the crib skirt to her bed. It's going to be super shabby chic cute. I just finished making some really unique hanging letters of her name. I didn't paint them, I'm not a painter. But I saw some letters done with paper in Oxford selling 14.99 a letter and I knew I could make them myself. And well, I did and they look even better than the ones that I even considered buying.

It's St. Paddy's day weekend and we will be heading to Hal & Mal's Parade in Jackson. I'm looking forward to that. I've gotten a better self image of myself being pregnant which is good, I don't feel fat but I feel pregnant. Ha.

Next week, I start back teaching Mon-Thursday nights from 5-7pm. We are taking Maternity pics on Tuesday. The next two weeks will go by fast. And before I know it will be in April! =) I can't believe it. Getting closer.

It's MARCH -- March Madness!

It is MARCH!

March Madness for sure! It've gotten through week 23 w/o Marcos while he was in Brazil. My hormones seems to be back on track and no more crying spells! According to Babycenter I have entered the 6th month until week 27 and then I will begin my 3rd trimester!

Marcos came back with a TON of baby stuff for Natalie. Some of the things are so special because it's from Brazil and handmade. I will take pics and post them soon!

We are starting to PAINT the nursery this week!! I can't wait! I am over and beyond filled with excitement. The walls will be PINK and it will be fit for a PRINCESS. Duuh. Ha. Things have been going great these 2 weeks in comparison to the past 2 weeks.

Here are some of the few things Marcos bought for Natalie while in Brazil. The dresses on hangers and the shoes were all his doings. The dresses on the floor were from his friend and family and Daisy Stelling's mother made the two bibs. I just love them! They are so special to me! There are some fancy little bloomers, Marcos just loved and bought. And then the onies were from friends. =)

Then began the NURSERY! Painting! Here is how it started...

And here it is the finished painted product. There is still so much to do. I have to figure out what color I am goign to paint the inside of the shelves next to the window. I need to pick out the curtains, roller shades, and some curtains to go in front of the roller shade (similar to the one used in the photos..that was just a prop curtain, it has to return to the living room). And of course wall art and stuff. I have a Crystal chandlier we will hang in the far right corner of the room next to the window. Under that will be the Swivel/Glider/Rocking chair we purchased from Playpen and will be arriving in 6 weeks. I am so happy to see the transformation. It officially looks like a baby girl's room.

Bah Humbug! Emotional!

After my wonderful week at the Beau Rivage celebrating our "Halfway" mark, I've been totally emotional the past 2 weeks!

Week 21 -

Let's Cry on Valentine's Day Date Night, February 11th!

It was a great Valentine's week because my husband is so awesome and made it so special. He made reservations at a restaurant called, "Ely's" in Ridgeland. It was delicous. Maybe it was because I was hungry or maybe it was really good. All I know is that the seafood dip is now something I will use as a crutch "I'm craving, seafood dip from Ely's" a lot now, honey. =) And I am 100% sure I will get it too.

The morning of the big date night I went on a mission to find a hot red dress. Well, that was a mistake. I started picking up dress sizes I could normally wear. I marched into the dressing room and couldn't get half these dresses of my newly blossomed watermelons. I was really upset. In my mind, I kept thinking I looked fine, I hadn't gained to much weight, I'm still the same size. Well girls (never been preggo girls, like me until now), let me tell you -your body does change, I mean, of course you get a stomach and of course your chest gets bigger, but with all those little changes you have now gone up atleast 3 or 4 sizes just to accomadate them. It's shocking to say the least.

I finally found a dress that seemed to flatter my new figure. I got home and started getting ready. The whole time I kept crying. Crying crying crying.... one big cry baby. It was really ridiculous, I'd tell myself, stop crying you look fine but it didn't help. Marcos got home ready and excited for our date only to find me crying. I explain to him I went and tried on all these dresses and no of them fit me, and that it just wasn't fun. He just laughed and kept telling me I was being silly and that I looked "beautiful" of course. So, I finally got a grip of myself and tried to focus on my sweet husband, who had made plans for the night and that I needed to enjoy it, so I did.

February 12 - The snow storm!

It was so incredible to wake up to a white winter wonderland! That is exactly what it was! I put on my snow boots and made a day of it outside. It was great! I was feeling a lot better about the new me - maybe that was because I had a big ole jacket on and I really didn't care about what I looked like. =) That day didn't last long.

February 13 - A cry baby doesn't deserve to go to Chuck E Cheese -

My friend, Sara, had a birthday party planned for her little girl, Eden. She is the sweetest little girl ever! M and I just love her. During the weeks Sara and I hang out and I bring Audrey, my niece along, who is 4, to play and entertain Eden. They have a blast. Well, Friday night Audrey had told Marcos that she bought a barbie for Eden and wanted HIM to pick her up and take her to the Birthday party.

Saturday morning at 830AM, I get a phone call and it is Audrey, "I'm waiting for Marcos". Ha. So, we get up and get ready to take her to the party.

I tried to find something to wear which begins the crying session all over again. I cry and cry uncontrolably about how I have nothing to wear, I hate the cold and I feel like a giant marshmellow. Once again, M laughs at me and tells me I look super cute and he loves the pink shirt. I could care less about his opinion at this point because I am an official marshmellow. I put my makeup on crying. I walked to the car crying. M finally says, he'll take me to buy a shirt that that will make me not feel like a marshmellow. This news distracts and I start focusing on what it is that I would like to buy. We pick Audrey up and take her to Chuck E Cheese. M and Audrey had a blast. Actually M had the most fun winning 850 tickets for Audrey playing one game over and over again. My afternoon got better as I had forgotten about the whole morning and was hungry and ready for lunch and then what I'd eat for dinner. =) I never got a shirt that day, I had forgotten about it all.

Week 22 - Leaving a on a Jet Plane

Sunday and Monday I basically spent the entire day crying because my husband was leaving to Brazil. I couldn't sleep Sunday night, woke up at 4AM and sat in the living room crying as Sophi starred at me. It was ridiculous, I just can't help the crying. I seriously tried hard to breathe and not think about anything and smile, but it just keeps coming.

 Monday, M hated seeing me so upset, he even said he wouldn't go. But, I explained to him I was fine and that it was ok to go and I couldn't control my crying and he'd have to just ignore it that I would cry the entire way to the airport. And I did.

I'm not sure when the cyring spells will end, maybe it is that time of the month for me or something and that is why I acting so irrational. But, I do hope it goes away because my eyes are super tired and they've been burning now for like 4 days.

I've got a Dr. appointment tomorrow - Wednesday. I'm excited to hear Natalies, heart beat. Even though I feel her constantly and M got to feel her alot Sunday night before he left. He was excited about that.

I'm looking forward to week 23/24 hoping the tears will be away and my hubby will be back home!

Above is a photo of the "winnie

the pooh" room. It's been like that

since we moved in. We will be getting

rid of the pooh room and turning it

PINK!