Post Partum...No not post partum depression Lexie! =)

Ok, Natalie arrived all of 5lbs13 oz of pure joy! I was doing good. My arms felt very shakey and it was weird to hold her. I preferred Marcos holding her for me and I looking at her. They were about to coach me on breastfeeding aka nursing when I got really weak. I remember feeling like I was literally going to go to sleep that moment. I told the nurse, "I'm going to sleep" She said, "I'm sure you feel like that you just gave birth" it was at that moment my secret angel spoke up.

The day before my best friend from childhood called to ask if I had wanted her mother, Jennifer, to be there for the delivery. She was there for my sister and I remember her being such a great coach. She has known me since I was little. I told her I would love for her to come if she was available. On the day of the delivery I called her and she was driving from the Coast all the way to make it on time. Well, she arrived right when I pushing so she wasn't really able to help - that is what I thought atleast. I felt bad that she had driven all the way down only not able to be in the delivery. Remember, my delivery went VERY fast.

So, the angel, Jennifer, spoke and said look her blood pressure is dropping and then Jennifer, who doesn't work at the hospital immediately pulled back the sheets and well that is when they realized there was a problem. She ran out of the room and told all the nurses who were gathered in the hallway that I was hemmoraging and was needed ASAP. Jennifer is a labor and delivery nurse and used to work at River Oaks. Everyone ran in and started pushing on my stomach. I just remember feeling all the stuff coming out of me. But the more the pushed the more I was feeling a little better. If they hadn't caught and "let me go to sleep" I could have hemmoraged to death. I had lost all my color and my lips were as white as my skin. My Dr. arrived all shooken up ready to step in but by then it was to late, they had everything in control. It was pretty scarey.

To give you an idea of how serious it could have been, I'll ask you this question. Has your OBGYN ever shown up at your door? Well, mine did! =) Not only did she show up but she brought us chicken salad from NEWKS and iron pills. Talk about a guilty conscience and not wanting a lawsuit. My mom was pretty upset with her but I look at it as a mistake and everyone makes mistakes and hopefully it was a lesson well learned for her. She is young and she is all about buisness. She delivered Natalie assumed I was small and baby was small and there wasn't much blood and didn't take the time to get everythng out. She was probably in the delivery room for a total of 7mins.

After all that drama, things were better. I was really weak and lost a lot of blood so I needed my blood levels to build back up which can take over a month. I've dizzy and lighthead and it hasn't been very fun. The iron pills are suppose to help and they have helped some.

Natalie is a breastfeeding champ. Talk about a girl who knows what she is doing. She latched on so easily on one side and the other has been a challenge but she can do it. I read a lot of nursing and breastfeeding books. Jeane who works at River Oaks is a God sent too! She was really calm and postive with everything. I don't thnk I could have done it without her encouragement and such praise of what a great job I was doing as a new mom. That really helps. My friends mom, Jane, is a lactation nurse in TX and she was able to help with questions as well. She described the one side Natalie wasn't latching on to well as an apple. It's hard to bob for apples right? The are round and firm. Well, since I was so full and firm it's hard to grasp. So expressing some before will soften things up and allow her to do what she needs to do. Ding! A light went off. That made perfect since and well that worked! =)

We had many friends and family come and visit. My in-laws from Brazil arrived the day after the delivery and my father-in-law stayed a week and then left. My mother-in-law has been here ever since and will be leaving in August. This has been another whole experience that has it's up and downs for me. I'll go into detail of that in my next post about the month or first 4 weeks with Natalie. This should be interesting! =) Stay Tuned

Natalie Kate Rodrigues!

There is so much to talk about now that Natalie has arrived. I want to first talk about the whole childbirth expereince... my experience and the funny things that happened up until she arrived. We will start at where I left off... 39 weeks!

39 Weeks!

Natalie was born at 39 weeks and 3 days. I was expecting her to be atleast 7.5lbs but to my surprise she was very little.

June 16, 2010
For my last meal I really wanted to eat Jason's Deli chicken alfredo and ceasar salad! It wasn't M's favorite, but it wasn't about what he wanted to eat - right?! It was really good and just what I wanted. =) Marcos and I spent Wednesday night preparing last minute things for the Dr.'s appointment the following morning. We made Tshirts for the Grandparents and him. Proud Grandaddy, Proud Nonnie, Vovo^, Vovo' and then Marcos' shirt that read his new saying, "Dude to Dad 2010". It was about 11pm the time we finished and I was exhausted. I took a shower and volumized my hair and blow dried it so it would be perfect in the AM and I wouldn't have to spend to much time on it since I had to be at the Dr's at 830.

June 17, 2010
We got up at 730AM and start loading the car and I started getting ready. I wasn't really nervous but anxious wondering what the day would be like and how long all this would take. Marcos and I had hoped to eat breakfast together but time didn't allow which not knowingly would be a good thing for me in the future.
We arrived a little after 830 and waited to see the Dr. We went to our normal appointment where she check to see how much progress I had made. Well, I was still at 4 centimeters and she was ok... Today is the day. Did you bring your stuff - we are going to admit you. She immediately got on her Blackberry called and said, "I need a room set up for Jana Rodrigues and she has requested to have an epidural right away so please put the order in". I was relieved to hear her say that b/c that meant business and I thought I wouldn't have to wait long for it.

Marcos and I went upstairs about 915AM and filled out some paperwork and next thing I knew I was in THE ROOM! My nurse was named, Lauren who was pregnant as well and having her second son in 10weeks. Marcos left to get the stuff from out of the car while I got prepped w/ Iv's and blood taken. I asked to wear my Maternity gown and they let me wear it! I was styling and happy now. By this time it was 945AM and my Dr. had come back to the room. I was still be poked and prodded and didn't know what she was doing until I heard her say, "And here comes the WATER" OMG! She BROKE my water! I wasn't prepared at all for this. Where was my epidural? Why didnt' she tell me what she was doing? Then she just walked out of the room. I sat there in shock not understand all what happened, expect that now it was 10AM and my water was already broken!!! I got on the phone and called everyone ASAP telling them they broke my water. Everyone said, "Ohh well you will have her around the evening about 3 or 4 cause you are still just 4 centimeters". People were planning to stop by and say Hey during their lunch hour. Which was fine for me... so I thought!?

1030AM - I'm feeling crampy. Really crampy and I want my epidural. Where is it?! I decided to be a baby and cry. So the tears start flowing as I tell Marcos please go find out where my epidural is. My sweet hubby frantically left the room to inform them I was crying and wanted my epidural. No sooner than that Mr Epidural man arrived. He was SOOO sweet and funny. I loved him. I was having contractions that were uncomfortable but not horrible - I felt the contractions more in my back which wasn't fun. I was nervous about having a contraction while getting the epidural but I learned that right have I had a contraction it gave me enough time to breathe and relax. So we started the epi. after the contraction. It took forever to get it put in but the epi. didn't hurt at all. I think it took like 20mins. I could still feel the contraction but it didn't hurt. I just felt pressure. It was nothing like I had expected. I had imagined I'd feel nothing. Feeling the pressure wasn't bad and was actually good because it would soon tell me when it was time to push!

11:15AM I felt like I had to go to tinkle. So they put a catheter in which was not fun. With every contraction now it was very uncomfortable. I told my nurse and she was trying to figure out what I was talking about. By 11:45AM she had the Epidural man come back in and they figured out that my epidural was working on the right side but not on the left side. So I laid on my side for the meds to flow over that way. During this my nurse Lauren check me I was 6 centimeters. I was having a contraction and she said push with the contraction while she was checking me. Well, what ever she did I went from 6 centimeters to 8 centimeters to almost fully dilated. She got up and told me that we'd probably have a baby soon. I wasn't sure what that meant.

It was 12pm and everyone had shown up because they were taking a lunch break. Grant it, I had just been checked was almost fully dilated whatever that meant. Well, let me tell you what that meant. I held on to the bars and starts crying - I am going to POOP!! Please, someone help. I am going to POOP! =) Yes! I couldn't care less who was in the room - All I knew was that it felt like was goign to POOP all over the table. The nurses came in and said, "Ohh baby you don't have to it's probably the position of your baby". I'm begging them to please let me get up and sit on the potty! My nurse couldn't help me so another nurse came in. She reassured me I wasn't goign to poop but if I needed to then poop on the table. I cried harder! NOO! I don't want to poop on the table I want to PooP in toilet!! My tears came harder and she decided to see what was going on. She checked me and said, "OH LORD, This BABY is coming NOW". Then everyone started running in! The nurse informed me that I would feel better if I pushed and that if I laid on my back and pushed the pain would go away. Well, PRAISE GOD. That was so much better. Why didn't some tell me that when it started! Everyone was in teh room and I started practice pushing around 1230PM. The Dr. arrived at 1245PM and said, "Let's have a baby!" And so we did. With about 6 pushes a tiny tiney baby arrived. The love of my life!

12:57PM Natalie Kate Rodrigues with 5lbs 13oz and 19 1/4inches long. She was perfect!

-- I'll post pictures later and update up on the AFTER birth - It was scarey - I hemmoraghed.

38 doing Great!

I've made it half way through 38 weeks and things are looking great.

We've been very busy cleaning aka nesting and getting everything prepared for Natalie's arrival. Today I was quite nervous about my Dr. appointment because last week I was at 3 centimeters and I was afraid my dr. would be "induced happy mode" and would want me to have her today. I prayed this morning for God's timing and His will to be continued through this entire pregnancy and for Him to give Dr. wisdom and knowledge of what should be done.

Praise God! I had a great appointment. I am now 4 centimeters... which means I can have epidural ASAP! =) I am 70% effaced which means I should have a pretty easy delivery the time she is ready to get here..only 30% left and I'm sure I can work on that this weekend and before next Thursday - June 17th. I am -2 station which means Natalie has lowered more and is getting is game mode. This is all such exciting news. I was very pleased and relieved the dr. didn't try to rush anything. She thinks I'll have her before Thursday but if not I will most definitley have her at my next appointment 39 weeks and 3 days on June 17th. My appointment is set for 9AM so I should have her by that evening. We are looking forward to her arrival. =) YeaY!

Weeks 34-37 - A Girl w/ Her own Agenda!

Week 34

Child birth Classes begin! (Well, they began while we were in Florida so we started on the second class). It was fun - very informative. We learned about dilating and the stages of labor.

We had an uneventful Dr. appointments. I was tested for Strep B or something and it came back Negative so no worries for when baby is born and having to take antibotics. My husband was worried I'd have Natalie soon therefore when Dr. asked if there were any questions my heart starts racing because I never know what will come out of my husbands mouth. Well, this time it was, "How do you know Jana isn't going to have this baby tomorrow" Well, my Dr. says, "Lets just see" Next thing I know - I'm being checked! OMG. Seriously, M?! Ha. Dr. says, "This baby isn't coming today or tomorrow!" I was closed up and doing just fine. So, thanks baby!

Week 35

Child birth class was about how to relieve pain - using medicine or natural remedies. Well, that night I had a dream I was in extreme pain. Lower back pain, mentrual cramps it was horrible and I was begging for an epidural. Well, I woke up from the dream and was in that real pain. It was horrible. I swore I was in labor. After many trips to the bathroom, I layed back down and said if I go back to sleep and it doesn't stop we are goign to the dr. Well, I woke up the next morning and I was fine. So, I wasn't sure what that was!

Another SHOWER! My sweet Aunt Gigi gave me the sweetest shower! It was just perfect, words couldn't describe how great it was to be apart of a feel good shower!! This shower was mostly my family and my mom's bunco group. The ladies that have been around since I was just a baby. I got some awesome things, like a bathtime spa tub for Natalie, the little lamb craddle swing (the one Kendra & Kourtney both have) and some really exquisite dresses and blankets. Marcos came to this shower and was in charge of taking pictures. He did an OK job, lol - considering his photos focused on everyone who was at the shower and what they were doing.

Week 36

                                                            3 Year Anniversary!!!

Marcos and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary early on Tuesday instead of Thursday because I wanted to eat at the Melting Pot for our anniversary and it is located in New Orleans. Once again, we were back in New Orleans for our anniversary. Ergh, I must say I am getting tired for celebrating in New Orleans but his job is like clock work and there we were back in New Orleans cause he had WORK. But this time, I was goign to plan better and choose a place I wanted to go to really bad- the Melting Pot. Ever since I saw photos of it, I knew I had to go.

It started off great the rough then great. Ha. We stayed at the Sheraton on Canal...that was a plus! BUT I spent all evening at my house figuring out what I wanted to wear on our 3yr anniversary being pregnant and all and what Marcos was going to wear. I finally came out with something and had it laid out. We got to the hotel and I asked, where are the clothes that were on the hanger. Marcos was puzzled. OMG! We left the clothes at the house. I was so irritated. Totally sulked and pouted and acted like a brat and laid on the bed not wanting to go the Melting Pot. I finally got over my funk but I didn't take time to do my hair or makeup because I was mad.

We arrived at the Melting Pot and all my madness left. It was awesome. More the I expected. I had only wished then that I had taken time to do my makeup and hair instead of pouting. But oh well. The food was fabulous and my smile came back on my face and Marcos and I had a great time.

                                                       36 Week Appointment

My weekly Dr. appointments begin. I was really excited about my weekly appointment. I was bracing myself for being checked because now she checks you weekly for progress. Well, I was just check at week 34 because of my darling husband's concerns and there was no progress. This time it was different. Dr. says, "Wow, I can feel the head" and "You are dilated 1 centimeter!" I couldn't believe. I was really excited. But, I know you can stay at 1 centimeter forever and it didn't really mean anything. However, I have been praying that when I go into labor I want to be atleast 4 centimeters, so I can get an epidural ASAP.

Last Child birth class that night was after birth and how to take care of your body and what to expect.

Week 37

                             Holy Moly - 3 Centimeters!

We had our Dr. appointment Thursday and to our surprise, I was now at 3 centimeters. Again, PRAISE the Lord! I'm determined to have a "pain free" childbirth and by doing that I'm counting on the Lord to get me to 4 centimeters or more with out feeling and then once the water breaks I go in and get my epidural and be one happy, free from pain momma! =) So far... so good!

The Dr. talked about inducing and Marcos and I have mixed feelings about this. I really believe at the rate I am going at she will come on her own. Dr. had given us the dates June 15,16 or 17. I had mentioned the 20th but that was a Sunday (Father's Day) and she said No, but the 22nd.

Marcos' parents leave Brazil on the 17th and arrive here on Friday the 18th at 945AM. I had really wanted his mom to be apart of the whole birthing experience. In Brazil, C-sections are the norm. Everyone has C-sections. His parents are reminded every day they I am not scheduled for a C-section on the 21st. They seem to forget this every day. Ha.

So, we've decided to tell the Dr. we will be induced on the 22nd if she has not made it on her own by then. This way she either comes on her own before the Rodrigues' get her or she could come on the 20th Father's Day if she chooses. But for sure she will be her on the 22nd and if is induced on that day I will be 40 weeks and she should be ready come anyways. The Rodrigues' will be apart of it too! How exciting. So as of right now, Marcos has me on bed rest. LoL. He doesn't want me lifting a finger or walking because he wants Natalie to sit tight a little longer. We shall see...

Weeks 29-33 - Ohh Time is FLYING by!

Ok! So, I'm trying to back track and figure out the weeks I missed. The last time I blogged Easter had ended and I had just finished my 28th week. I was gearing up for MY FIRST baby Shower on April 18 and for my 32 week sonogram!

Week 29
On April 10 - Marcos had his first DREAM about Natalie. =) He woke up so excited to tell me all about his first dream and how it seemed so real. This was fun, considering Marcos dreams alot because I can hear him talk in his dreams at night, sometimes in Portuguese and sometimes in English but when I ask him about it he never remembers what he dreamt about!

Week 30
I had visited my DR. for my 30 week appointment the Wednesday, April 14 before the shower and told her about the emotional rollercoaster I was on over the whole drama that came about. My DR. really put things in perspective for me (she didn't seem to think it was my hormones) but told me to focus on what I knew was true and that this would be my FIRST shower for my FIRST baby and everyone who was going to the shower was going for ME and how awesome was that! She was really amazing. Kinda took me back at first because she was so forward with questions like, "Who said it" "What did they say to you" "Why did you allow this person to have such power over you" "Was this person even noteworthy of their words" ect. It was kinda humorous. But, she did help alot! So, thanks Dr.!

Week 31

My FIRST shower. It was just fabulous! All the wonderful people who I care so deeply about showed up and it was such an overwhelming feeling know that all these people cared for Natalie and she hadn't even made it here yet. Sure, that was major drama leading up to the whole shower but it ended up being great. I got some really fun and unique gifts. I just love really thought out gifts, so sweet! And of course the practical and well needed things were - well- just what I needed and that's great!

Week 32
SONOGRAM! April 29, Again, FAVOR from the Lord. I prayed all morning... Lord, please send me an Angel in disguise! Show me favor this Dr. appointment and let me see this baby girl in 3D again! =) Praise God, I've got a friend in HIGH places.

We were the first appointment in the books. The nurse called my name and I knew, this is her again - My angel in disguise! I lay on the table and she starts measuring Natalie. We are talking and the whole time I'm praying, Ohh please do a 3d! And then she says, lets take a peak at this sweet little girl! My heart was elated. She switches the screen to 3D and I can't thank her enough. Marcos starts in on Natalie's nose and how it looks so big. LoL. Well, this gets the Nurse laughing so hard that she is determined to show Marcos that the baby's nose is not so big and it just the screen. So, we spend forever looking at her at different angles in 3D, during all the laughing and Marcos' smart comments Natalie starts laughing.

 She snapped a picture of it! Of course, I am her momma, but I swear this was the most beautiful sonogram photo I've ever seen! LoL - HAHA!

Week 33

We left for the beach on May 5- Mother's day weekend!

We spent our time at the Eden condominiums, the same place Marcos and I went to last year the same weekend but with friends. This time we went with Family. My parents, sister & Audrey and brother & Kendle and Caleb. We had lots of fun! This was the first time I got into a bathing suit, and yeah, I totally flaunted it! =) Ha.

 I didn't eat the fish just because I didn't want to take any chances do to the oil spill. Walking on the sand was challenging considering I'm carrying so much weight as it is and then my feets sinking far into the sand making it hard to pull back up. Ha. The weather was so great the first time day that I chilled out under an umbrella but somehow missed some spots with sunscreen (my left leg especially) and burned myself so bad! It ruined the second day for us. Marcos was really sweet about it. I knew he wanted to stay and play at the beach and pool but he put on a big act and said that he wanted to spend the trip with me and if I couldnt' get back in the sun that he'd take me shopping if I felt up to it. Well, as much as it hurt like heck to walk on my legs, I couldn't pass up the outlet mall. I also thought walking my be good for my swallon huge leg. So we shopped and shopped! =) By the next day I was better - and spent the day at the beach but just kept my leg covered up really good and Marcos saturated me with sunscreen not missing one spot this time. We got some really cute maternity beach pics taken around the hotel. The trip was just what we needed!

Peacemaker

“Peacemakers who sow in peace RAISE a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:18)

Praise God that horrible Thursday passed! I made peace and I forgave and asked for forgiveness of myself. I actually learned a lot through the whole emotional rollercoaster of Thursday. I would have loved to have opted out of that whole lesson however, God is molding me each day and without this experience I wouldn't be who I am right now, at this moment.

Praise God I have some awesome spiritual women in my life. One who was able to help me to see past things in a different light and allow me to see how the enemy was at work. We were able to pray about it over the phone and it really brought me great comfort and peace in that moment.

My other friend, Mayaba called and left me a voice mail on Monday. Well, I've still been emotional over everything and waited and called her back today because I felt better. She is an AMAZING woman of God. She has a book you MUST read called, "“Delivered From the Bondage of Witchcraft.” and comes to a prayer group I am in on Tuesday nights. I haven't been in months due to the fact that I am teaching evening classes. She has NEVER called me before and she called. I felt like I needed to return her call. When I called she explained the holy spirit had really layed me on her heart to pray. She had even planned a trip to Columbus but canceled her trip to stay home for a week to pray and fast (not just for me, other things too). She asked how the baby and I were doing and that she had been praying for us. I told her that her phone call couldn't have been more timely because of the stress and heartache I have felt over the past week. She started praying for me and said the Lord wanted me to know, "I AM." She repeated the several times. We prayed some more and I listened to what she had to say. I told her I knew exactly what the Lord was saying because I've been searching for my Prince of PEACE, my Comforter and I as much as I know HE is that, he seemed so far from me at the moment. But I know HE is listening and saying to me just that, "I AM your Prince of Peace, I AM your Comforter, I AM your Strength when you are weak, I AM the solid Rock..." It was just amazing. I thank God for such an obedient woman in the Lord and for God speaking to her about me.

Later on tonight after teaching I was on my way home and the song, "I Will Not Be Moved" by Natalie Grant came on. Wow, again the holy spirit was strong and these words were stronger and louder, I heard them clear as day, "I will make mistakes, I will have heartaches, BUT I will NOT be Moved, for Christ the solid Rock is which I stand AND all other ground is sinking Sand!" Again, I was reminded of who I am in Christ! No matter what problems arrive in my life, I will always turn to the God of Grace and Mercy, the one who will bring me the Peace, Comfort, Strength, Love ect when I need it the most and I will not be Moved.

UNGRATEFUL

What is the meaning of this word: "ungrateful". I hadn't ever thought about this word, it's not really in my vocabulary, I've never needed this word and I've never called anyone this word so I needed to know what this meant when I was called this about 100xs yesterday over the phone where I wasn't given an explantation on why this person thought this of me.

Ungrateful: adj.

1.Not feeling or exhibiting gratitude, thanks, or appreciation.

 

Gosh, this is pretty harsh. It's hits you hard especially when the definition doesn't fall in line with who you are. I'm more than thankful, appreciative and grateful of everything in my life big and small. I've never taken anythng for granted and try to go above and beyond to show appreciation to people.

 

After balling my eyes, and being just really torn up yesterday, all day to the point where I couldn't breathe, I called my daddy and he was filled with words of wisdom. He listened to the whole situation and even challenged my thinking. I can't imagine ever having to go through this again without having my dad around for his advice. Without his advice yesterday, I'm sure I wouldn't have survived. Still thinking about this gets me all teary eyed and emotional  (yes, I know I am pregnant).

 

Was it not that I wasn't grateful but this person needed me to show more appreciation. In the end after talking to my dad, I apologized to this person; "I'm sorry for making you feel like I am not grateful for what you are doing - I never meant to do or say anything to make you feel this way." Really that is all I could say. Because to be honest, I still have no clue what they were talking about or what they needed from me and like my dad said, I didn't need to try and get an answer on why they thought I was ungrateful - just like when Christ was called names He didn't demand to know why they were calling Him that. I guess in my thinking was that if I could get why they thought I was ungrateful I could know what I needed to change or to do or to say. I probably should have returned back to my Child like faith and attitude.

 

It brings me back to Elementary school when the teacher left the room and had a boy take names. Well this boy wrote my name on the board. I hadn't done anything wrong. When the teacher came in and saw my name on the board she was rather shocked. She said, "Jana! Why is your name on the board?" I responded, "I do not know." She asked the boy, "Did Jana talk or get up" the boy responded, "Yes". I was really calm and not bothered by his response. The teacher goes on, "Jana, he said you did do one of the two" My response, "Well, I didn't and I don't care what he says because God and I know I didn't do anything." Immediately the teacher erased my name from the board and apologized.

 

Instead of getting so upset and bothered by everything mean this person was saying and not know why they were saying all these things to me, I should have calmly and immediately apologized and reminded myself that I know what  my heart feels, I know I've never shown any ungratefulness towards anyone and ended the conversation.

 

For this word to have such a big impact on me, God has really revealed the power of words. I've always known that words have power, and I try daily to choose my words wisely and I'm actually really good at it. I feel really numb still today and I have tried super hard not think about yesterday. My husband was so upset with what happened yesterday that of course it tore him up that I had "allowed" someone get me so upset that he ended up taking off the rest of the day. There was really nothing he could do for me though. He didn't want me answering the phone talking or calling anyone. He took me to a comedy movie to get me to laugh and afterwards we ate dinner and were both out asleep by 8pm.

 

I have not spoken to this person even though I have forgiven this person. It's just something in my spirit is not at ease at the moment with this person. I feel like there is more to what this person is feeling and there is nothing I can do to help this person until they ask help for themselves. 

 

Ending this blog with a few things I feel gratitude, thanks and appreciation for...

Jesus (without him I'd still be a basketcase)

Marcos (without him I wouldn't have anyone to turn my frown upside down)

Dad (without him I wouldn't recieve the words of wisdom when I need it the most)

Family (they've shown me who i want to be and not want to be)

My: Education

  House

Food

Water

Clothes

Being able to stay home during the day

Evening job (spanish and english)

This baby - Natalie

Kind words

Kind acts

Travels